Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
