I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
