Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm at about main and main street
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
