The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
accomplished twins. life is a go
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
