Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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