he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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