it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm too high and old for this...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
