i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
