I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
