I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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