Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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