You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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