i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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