his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
