is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
