It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
