I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
