he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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