spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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