So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
