Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
