You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
