I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
