dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
