Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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