It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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