he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
