I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
