Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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