Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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