I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
