bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
