She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
