What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
