I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
