SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
