I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
