ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize