If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
