Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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