Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
