thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
