This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
