how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
