how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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