Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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