You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
