how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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