so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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