New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
COCAINE IS GR8
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
