I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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