Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
