there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Drunk is not a location!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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