If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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