how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
