i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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