I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How does one acquire holy water?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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